my dear friends! Let’s huddle up and have a little chinwag about something that’s been kicking up quite a stir over in Wolverhampton. For those of you with a nose for tech and how your data whizzes through the air, this one’s a corker!
Right, so picture this: the folks at South Staffordshire Golf Club are in a bit of a tizzy over this humungous 20-metre 5G mast that’s been proposed to stick up like a sore thumb on their lush, green turf. The local gang are in a right tizz, and can you blame them? You pop your head out the window expecting to see the usual leafy paradise and – wham! – there’s this colossal metal beanpole decked out in all manner of gadgetry staring back at you. It’s hardly the quaint little ornament you’d plonk in your garden, is it?
The council heads had a butcher’s at the plans by Cornerstone for this beastie of a monopole, sporting a dozen antennas, a couple of satellite dishes, and some hefty cabinets on Codsall Road. Instantly, they’re shaking their heads, thinking, “This isn’t going to be a hit with the neighbours.” They’re picturing it sticking out like a sore thumb, completely wrecking the area’s charm. And honestly, I’m with them all the way – drawing back the curtains to a view all tangled up in tech is not my cup of tea.
Then there’s Mr. Jobe Elwell, the planning officer – talk about having to dish out a dollop of disappointment. He had to break it to the tech bods that their monstrosity was about as welcome as a bee at a picnic. This mast’s chunkier than what we’re used to and the antenna rig is so big it would make you look twice. It’s a bit much, don’t you think? Like ordering a plain ice cream and getting every topping under the sun. He had to scribble a whopping ‘nope’ on the plans because it would be too close for comfort to the homes nearby – practically in their back garden!
Granted, there’s a bunch of brave trees attempting to play a game of hide-and-seek with the mast for some homeowners, but let’s have a natter about reality – that thing was sticking out like a proud peacock. One poor soul’s house would’ve had front-row seats to the whole shebang, right out their side window – and that’s not exactly the view you want premium access to!
And Cornerstone, bless ’em, they didn’t make a jot of effort to blend in. Not an inkling of camouflage in sight. It’s like turning up to a costume party in your everyday togs while everyone else is dressed to the nines.
Mr. Elwell wasn’t mincing his words. He laid it on thick that Cornerstone hadn’t given any thought to giving the mast a bit of a makeover or making it less intrusive. Yeah, that 5G might’ve given us internet faster than lightning, but at such a cost? Our mate Elwell and his team said, “Nope, we’d rather keep our scenery spick and span.” And to that, I raise my glass – sometimes, you’ve got to put the beauty of our local digs before the glitz of new tech, don’t you think?